Short One Liner Urdu Jokes

Laloo: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.

Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

Stylish Laloo SMS

Laloo got promotion from clerk to manager.

He went home and told his wife in new style “You will sleep with a manager today…”

Wife fell unconscious.

Funniest Jokes, Funniest SMS

A Drunk man points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?

Second Drunk: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.



Joke in Hindi

Ek sharabi akash ki taraf ishara karke bola: Yeh suraj hai ya chand?

Dusra Sharabi: Pata nahi bhai, mein bhi is shehar mein naya hun.

Naughty Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me a drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender gives him a drink.

Santa again says: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender again gives him a drink.

Santa again asks for a drink as the fight is about to star.

Bartender: When on earth the fight will start?

Naughty Santa: When you will ask for money.

Pakistani:

An Indian Sardar ji & a Pakistani were in Titanic. Titanic was sinking.

Pakistani: How much the earth is far from here?

Indian Sardar Ji: 2 kilo meter.

The Pakistani jumped into the sea and asked again: ...in which direction?

Indian Sardar Ji: Downwards.

Psychiatrist Joke

Laloo: Doctor, I don't remember anything, sometimes on road I even forget if I am going to office from home or going back to home from office.

Psychiatrist: In such a condition, you should check your tiffin. If it is empty then you are going to home, if it is full, you are going to office.

Husband:

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.

Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.

Funny Husband: I know all that.

Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Funny Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Sardar Joke, Pakistani Joke

Sardarji saw two Pakistani workers in Karachi. One of them dig a hole, and the other guy immediately fill it with soil again. They repeated the work again and again.

Sardarji couldn’t understand their job. He asked the Pakistanis about it.

Paki Worker replied: The third guy who plants the trees in holes is on leave today, & we are doing our duty.

Free Funny Short Joke

Laloo applied for the post of a detective in Patna. In the interview he was asked a question:

Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?

Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.

Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.



Teacher: What happened in 1869?

Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born.

Teacher: What happened in 1873?

Student: Gandhi was four years old.

Funny Paki Jokes

American Girl: When my grandfather died he left 10 million dollars.

Indian Girl: When my grandfather died he left 20 million dollars.

Pakistani Girl: That’s nothing, When my grandfather died he left the whole world.

Urdu Joke

Three life insurance salesmen of different countries were having a chat.

Pakistani: When a man died, we processed the claim and delivered the check within 24 hours.

Indian: When a man died, we delivered a check the same evening.

American: That’s nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the WTC building. A man was working on the 50th floor. He slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor!

Husband Wife Divorce Jokes

Husband:  I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.

Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that  are hard to  get!

Hindi Version

Husband: Mein apni wife se divorce chahta hu. Voh mere se 6 mahine se boli nahi.

Lawyer: Dubara soch lo, aisi wife kismat valon ko hi naseeb hoti hai.

Hindi version of Jokes

Laloo's Son: Papa, aapki shaadi me kitna kharcha aaya tha?

Funny Laloo: Meine kabhi hisab nahi lagaya, par mein aaj tak uss ke liye pay kar raha hu.

* * *

Ik Haryanvi ne bank se car loan liya. Voh loan vapis nahi kar paya. Bank vale uss ki car le gaye.

Funny Haryanvi: Agar mere ko yeh pata hota to mein apni shaadi ke liye bhi loan leta.

Short Wedding Jokes Marriage Jokes, Funny Sms

Laloo's Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.

Funny Laloo: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.



A Haryanvi bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Funny Haryanvi: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

Pregnancy

Laloo rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.

Laloo: How's it going?

Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

Hilarious Jokes, Sardar Jokes

A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.

Ex Husband Jokes

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?

Santa: My wife’s first husband.

Husband Wife Jokes

A French husband was returning home after cremating his wife.

He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.

Husband thinks: She must have reached there.



Hindi Version

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram (cremation) kar ke ghar lot raha tha.

Tabhi asman me jor se bijli chamki aur badal garje.

Husband bola: Lagta hai pohonch gayi.

Sweet SMS Naughty Jokes

In New Delhi, Blue-line buses are notorious for killing people in  accidents.

Today a Blue-line bus driver saved
2 lives.

Howz that possible?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He did not go to job today.

Laloo Rabri Jokes

Laloo Rabri Jokes

Sardar Ji: Why have you increased speed of car?

Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.



Hindi Version

Sardar Ji: Aapne gadi ki speed kyon bdha di hai?

Laloo: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hone se pehle hum ghar pahounch jaaige.

New Funny Jokes, Funny SMS

Museum Watchman: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken.

Funny Sharma: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.



A Funny man & his wife go to a coffee house. Funny man buys 2 cups of coffee.

Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold.

Wife: But why...

Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee.

Funny Medical Jokes

Santa: Why are you heating the knife.

Banta: To do suicide.

Santa: But why are you heating it?

Banta: To prevent infection.



 Hindi Joke

Santa: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Banta: Suicide karne ke liye

Santa: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Banta: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

Sweet SMS Sexy Jock

Sweet SMS Sexy Jock

Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?

Employee: (looking down) No Sir...

Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

Hindi Version

Angry boss: Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?

Employee: (sar jhuka ke) Nahi sir

Boss: Neeche kya dekh rahe ho? Meri taraf dekho.

Short Mobile Jokes

Santa & Banta got tired using mobile cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send sweet messages. And this hilarious scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees, the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any sweet message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

Judge asks a little Kid

Rama Chandran
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Praveen Chaudary
Love is a gamble,
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Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
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Annamraju Lalitha Bhargavi ya ani wooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww................
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Himaja Saragadam hey marchipoya Ani Praveena woooooooooow
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Himaja Saragadam
happy ganesh chathurthi...
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fight against correption
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Praveen Chaudary
What's An Average 6 Inch Long

Inside A Guy's Pants And Girls Love To Blow It Up?

A:1000- Rupee Currency Note.!

Always Think POSITIVE
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June 9, 2011
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vth friends @ athirapally waterfalls
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happy vinayaka chavithi to all my frnds ;-)
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Surya Kiran satish i expected 9 pack builder vinyaka pic.....
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happy vinayaka chavithi to all my frnds ;-)
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Satish needs some Rainbow Trout
Satish is working on Susie's Stumped and needs some Rainbow Trout from their friends! Those who choose to help will receive a Rainbow Trout for themselves!
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Train Stunt
Reay Road Boys
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FYI! Apart from the fact that I had decided to be more productive at work and taken on going back to school which meant that I couldn't play as much each day or not at all. My organisation has blocked all access to all social networks. Only my phone will be online while at work but it lives in my handbag. Don't be mad if I do not respond even hours after u send me messages. I will when I get the chance. :)
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Marappan - Online Recharge Viral for Vodafone
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The sad truth
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Roop Kumar

Daily Aquarius Horoscope
Your daily Aquarius horoscope, delivered.
You will be in a good mood today. Your sense of humor returns, and you are energetic. You are up for some fun, too. You might actually drag your partner out of the house to go party this evening. If you are single, you might ...
See the rest: apps.facebook.com/daily_horoscope_en
Daily Love: What does love have in store for you today?
Joke of the Day: Laughs Here
Top Loves: Click here
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Anyone Knows This Girl..? Please Watch this
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An example for perfect timing................ [HQ]
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Bodyline Nutritions

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The Hindu : Cities / Chennai : Chennai - 372 years young
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Sudhir Kumar

Sudhir received -Bugatti Wagon- from Lucky Box
We do wish it to become true :)
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Bussi Babu answered Guyz n girls plzzzz vote 4 ur district.... lets c which district vl win with vishakapatnam distrit.


vishakapatnam distrit


East Godavari district

HYDERABAD
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Sanjay, Today Lucky Cellphone is BlackBerry Curve 9300
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Lern Somthng :)

The best adverdisement ever !!!
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Dog Prays Before He Eats!
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Yes

No

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Our little hurricane inconveniences are nothin in the big picture. send prayers to the people of Syria...under assault from their own govt. - Mark
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Sudhir Kumar
Awesome TAP Dance... Great nd fantastic coordination... Its really FAB..

Tap Dance...
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Santa asks Priest:

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time...

Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you.

Funny Girl Jokes

A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.

Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.

Teacher: Why are you late?

Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, What?

Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

Indian Prime Minister

Indian Prime Minister: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

US President: Wow! How many?

Indian Prime Minister: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman

An inspirational speaker said:
“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.”
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added:
“She was my mother”
A big round of applause & laughter!
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”
Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker
By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!
Moral:
Dn’t Copy,if u can’t Paste

Girl’s status on Face Book:-

Girl’s status on Face Book:-


“Iam so sad:(”

(19 likes,172 comments)



Boy’s status:



“im goin 2 commit sucide ;-(”

(2 likes, n 1 comment:

Dekh le yr.

“Ho sake to na kar!

When you develop the ability

When you develop the ability to listen any thing without
losing your temper or self confidence And when you always behave like
a “Deaf” then it means that you are ready to become
.
.
.
.
.
.
A Good “Daughter in Law ( Bahoo ) “  

A Couple went to a wishwell

Husb: Bent down, threw a coin n made a wish

Wife: Bent down a litle more & fell into the well

Husb. shouted



WoWww

IT WORKS

Nurse, Sardar and blood test

NURSE kept SARDAR'S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

A beautiful girl goes to Professor

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study

A junior needs a name

Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name

It's too tight

Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!

It's the things that satisfies your mind

 It's the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It's called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

What is 6" inch long

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6" long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words

Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

Girl fully exhausted

A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,

When her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

"I thought It was MONEY"

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

I want to suck you ... lick you

I want to suck you
lick you
wanna move my tongue all over you
wanna feel you in my mouth
yep, that's how you
eat an ice cream!

Come here, take off your pents and knickers

Come here,
take off your pents and knickers,
get on top of me,
enjoy until u get satisfied,
loving yours.....
toilet!

Last nite i went 2 bed without u...cold,naked...

Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
cold,naked,thinking of u,
missing ur warmth,
ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u "lastnite"

Sardar on phone:

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

A girl phoned me

A girl phoned me
the other day and said ...
"Come on over, there's nobody home."
I went over. Nobody was home

Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

Flowers + butterfly = A beautiful scene

Flowers+butterfly = A beautiful scene.
Stars+moon = A romantic night.
Rain+monsoon = A lovely weather.
U+ur smile = Bhaago Bhoot aaya.

Evil made a mother-in-law.

God thought that since
he couldn't b everywhere
he made a mother.

Then devil thought that
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.

Your 5 qualities

Ur 5 qualities:

1---------

2---------

3---------

4---------

5---------

Agar zindagi main kabhi
koi acha kam kia hota
to aj ye jaga khali na hoti

Close ur eyes n think about yourself

Close ur eyes n think about yourself,

ur face

ur style

ur nature

ur smile

ur looks

Now open your eyes

Free main HORROR film dikhai na?

Chalo thanks bolo;-)

Excitement in Examz!!!...

Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20...

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question. :-)

I have lots of jokes in my inbox

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can't send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I'm sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
"You are so beautiful"

Why student fails ?

WHY STUDENT FAIL
Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
Hun banda SALGIRHA waly din bhi parhy?

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

The latest slogn of boys

The latest slogn of boys:
Pakistan is our nation
Girls are our Destination
Dating is Our Occupation
Flirting is our Profession
Leave about Education

Who¢â‚¬Ës dear & near friend...

Whos hot... Its U,
Whos
Charming... Its U,
Whos
Sweetest.. Its U,
Whos
Intelligent... Its U,
Whos dear & near friend... Its U
Whos a liar.. Its me

A man found his wife having affair with a guy.

A man found his wife having affair with a guy.
He decided 2 kill himself & his wife.

Apne kaan pe pistol lagai aur bola-
tu khush mat ho agla number tera hai!

1st ever intelligent sardar.

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Tied rakhi to the following boys

2 Guys Were Following 2 Girls
Both Girls Took Rakhi & Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy To Second-What Will We Do Now?

2nd Guy-U Marry My Sis,
I Will Marry Ur Sis

Santa in court

SANTA went to court

JUDGE:
"Order ! Order !"

SANTA:
"1 Pizza, 2 Dosa, 3 Idli & 1 Cold-drink !"

JUDGE:
"Shut Up !"

SANTA:"No,No..7-Up!

A girl Fell Down from 80th floor

A girl Fell Down from 80th floor,
A boy caught her on 65th floor and asked her...
will u hug me...?
She replied.., offcourse not...
he dropped her.
...........
she was caught on 30th floor by another boy....
He asked her, will u kiss me..?
no not at all, she replied
he dropped her too..

she prayed for last chance when a boy hold her on 5th floor.
she immediately said...
ok i will hug u and kiss u..
The boy dropped her and saying.

Astagfirullah !!
mera roza hai :P [ I am fasting ]